


all i know is gone (but i am not alone)

by faerialchemist



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Aang (Avatar)-centric, Aangst, Air Nomad Genocide (Avatar), Air Nomads (Avatar), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Riddle me that, aang's friends love him very much, his grief and his guilt for that matter, let aang process his grief pls and thank you, so many of these take place at night, the kataang is mild like canon-compliant kinda thing, there is not enough aang content in this fandom, this is structured like a 7+1, why do important conversations happen when it's dark outside under the stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faerialchemist/pseuds/faerialchemist
Summary: “I want you to make me a promise, Avatar Aang,” Katara whispered. This time, when she placed her hand on top of his, he didn’t pull away. “When this is all over, when the war is won… Promise me that you’ll grieve.”(alternatively: grieving is hard. aang’s friends work harder. a series of missing/expanded scenes from a:tla exploring aang’s grief through his friends’ eyes.)
Relationships: Aang & Bumi (Avatar), Aang & Katara (Avatar), Aang & Sokka (Avatar), Aang & Suki (Avatar), Aang & The Gaang (Avatar), Aang & Toph Beifong, Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 304





	all i know is gone (but i am not alone)

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been wanting to write an atla fic for a while now because there is not enough aang-centric content in the fandom and i am determined to fill that void (by myself if i must!!). i’ve been working on this for the past two-ish weeks and i am really pleased with how it came out so i hope you all enjoy it, too :) there might be some minor timeline issues in this; if there are, don’t tell me. i wanna live in peaceful ignorance lmao

~*~

1\. katara: _the world should have protected him… instead he has been asked to protect it. what an honor. no… what an injustice. (kids shouldn’t be fighting wars.)_

_It wasn’t fair_ was Katara’s immediate thought as she stared up at the starry night sky. If she was being honest with herself, ‘it wasn’t fair’ was often Katara’s _constant_ thought, cruel proof of their painful reality that forever lingered in the back of her mind. A thought she wasn’t sure she’d ever be rid of. Her people hadn’t been free of it for a hundred years.

It wasn’t fair that her and Sokka’s dad had left to fight in an unwinnable war, that he’d abandoned them when they were only kids. It wasn’t fair that she’d had to be the one to find her mother’s brutally slain body, her mother who’d sacrificed her life to protect her. It wasn’t fair that she and Sokka had been forced to grow up before they had a chance to be young, that they’d been robbed of their childhood before they’d had time to be a child.

And Aang… Well, the world was cruelest to the kindest, wasn’t it?

It wasn’t fair that Aang had been the one to discover Monk Gyatso’s skeleton. It wasn’t fair that his entire people, every Air Nomad had been slaughtered a century ago and that he’d been forced to experience such an incomprehensible loss all at once. It wasn’t even fair that he was the Avatar, that the responsibility of stopping the war and saving the world was solely his to bear.

And even if that responsibility didn’t _have_ to be his and his alone, Katara could tell Aang would make it so. Because that was simply how he was. He was hope incarnate, kind, unabashedly _good_ \- and Katara prayed the war wouldn’t strip him to the bone.

Waterbenders rose with the moon, hence why Katara was awake in the dead of night when she knew she should have been sleeping. The sky was clear. She couldn’t say the same for her mind.

Sokka had wrapped himself tightly in his sleeping bag, his lips parting ever so often to release a quiet snore, a sound that was usually annoying but now provided her at least a semblance of normalcy to life in the South Pole. The lemur - Momo, she was pretty sure he’d been dubbed - was curled up at Aang’s feet, while Aang himself lay snuggled into Appa’s side. His eyebrows were furrowed with an odd intensity that she wasn’t used to seeing on his face, and she absentmindedly wondered what he might be dreaming about.

Of course, just because she wondered didn’t mean she would _die_ if she didn’t know, but the universe had a funny way of thrusting things upon her.

“No,” Aang murmured, rolling flat onto his back, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “No. Gyatso…”

Katara noticed a slight breeze picking up through their makeshift campsite, and she pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders.

“Gyatso… I’m sorry. No - please, no!”

Katara’s eyes widened as she realized the wind was only getting stronger - and that its gradual increase seemed to be in perfect synchronization with Aang’s distressed mumbling. Was he going to enter the Avatar state?! Spirits, she didn’t know.

Okay. She needed to think rationally. She - She could do her best to calm him down and make sure their camp didn’t get blown away by Aang’s dream-induced bending. Yes, that was her plan. And hopefully she’d avoid waking Sokka up in the process.

“Aang?” she whispered, crawling over to him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Aang, you need to wake up.”

He didn’t seem to hear her, his eyes still stiffly clenched shut. Momo had moved, too, having been woken up by the newfound breeze stirring around the camp. He was chittering next to Aang’s head, though the additional noise again seemed ineffective as the wind only picked up further. It was amazing how Sokka was sleeping through it all.

“Aang!” Katara tried again, raising her voice and trying to lightly shake his shoulder. “Aang, you’re going to blow away the camp! Wake up!” She was exaggerating, maybe, though the wind _had_ increased to the point where her braid was starting to whip around over her shoulder. “Aang, please!”

“I’m sorry,” Aang whispered, and Katara’s heart skipped a beat before she realized he hadn’t been speaking to her. “It’s my fault, Gyatso. They’re all gone.”

Katara’s heart proceeded to drop into her stomach as what he was dreaming about finally clicked in her mind. “Oh, no,” she breathed. She redoubled her efforts to wake him, no longer caring if Sokka accidentally woke up, too, in the process. “It’s just a dream, Aang! It’s not” - spirits, it _was_ real, she couldn’t lie to him - “You’re with Sokka and I now! We aren’t at the air temple anymore. Please, wake up!”

With one final shake, Aang sat bolt upright, and the wind that had been swirling around him like the beginnings of a tornado was suddenly blasted outwards, and Katara couldn’t stop the yelp that escaped her lips as she found herself literally being blown violently across the camp.

“Katara!” Aang cried, his eyes still hazy with sleep but rapidly clearing. He jumped to his feet, reaching out before pulling his hands back towards him. The air obeyed, and Katara breathed a quiet sigh of relief as she was slowly lowered back to the ground in front of Aang.

For a moment, neither spoke, both simply staring at the other as they tried to get a grasp on everything that had transpired in the last minute and a half. At least that was what Katara found herself doing. Maybe Aang was still trying to fully wake up.

Then Sokka let out a particularly loud snore, and the quiet moment was shattered.

“I’m so, so sorry, Katara!” Aang apologized, his words tumbling out of him like a waterfall. “I haven’t - I haven’t bended in my sleep like that since I was - maybe five? I don’t know what happened!” He hesitated, then looked up at her with wide, concerned eyes. “Are you okay?”

And if Katara’s heart fluttered, she ignored it.

“I’m fine,” she reassured him, sitting next to Appa’s leg and taking one of her friend’s hands to gently pull him down to the ground beside her. “I’m more worried about you, Aang.” She released his hand, placing both of hers in her lap. “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

The color drained from Aang’s face. “What?”

This was harder than Katara thought it was going to be. “You were having some kind of nightmare,” she pressed on. “About Gyatso, and… the other Air Nomads?”

Aang stiffened at her words, breaking eye contact. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Aang…” She gave him as soft of a smile as she could muster. “You are incredibly talented at many things, but I don’t think lying is one of them.” She reached out to place her hand on top of his, wincing slightly as he pulled away. “It’s… It’s okay to feel sad, Aang. Today has been really hard and confusing for you” - her descriptions didn’t even begin to cover it, she knew - “and if you want to talk about it, then I’m here to listen.”

At first, Aang said nothing. Then he sighed. “I… can’t believe it’s been a hundred years.”

Katara couldn’t either, if she was honest. The idea of him surviving in an iceberg for a century was impossible for her to wrap her mind around.

“And… And now I’m the last airbender in the whole world,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “All of the other Air Nomads are gone because _I_ wasn’t there to protect them when the Fire Nation kil-” He took a shuddering breath, cutting himself off. “I’m the Avatar. I should have been able to _do_ something, saved _someone_ -”

“Aang, no,” Katara said, horrified by the thought that he’d blame himself for the death of the Air Nomads. “The Fire Nation, Fire Lord Sozin - _they’re_ the ones to blame for…” Spirits, she couldn’t even bring herself to articulate the atrocity that had been committed. “For what happened to the Air Nomads. Not you. There was _nothing_ you could have done, Aang, except…” Except die with them, she realized. And then… there would have been no hope at all.

She would never have met him, either.

“It’s not your fault, okay?” she finished. “And - And maybe there are still airbenders left!” Even if they hadn’t been seen in over a hundred years, who was to say that they hadn’t gone into hiding? Blending in among other nations? She herself still held out hope that waterbenders besides her from the Southern Water Tribe were still alive, maybe in the Earth Kingdom or even with the Northern Tribe.

There was a heaviness to Aang’s shoulders that told her he didn’t believe her words, but he didn’t argue, either. “The monks taught me that happiness is a choice,” he finally said, his fists clenching in his lap as his expression grew steely. “I’m the Avatar. That means I can’t let myself be weighed down by what happened a hundred years ago. I have to master the other three elements so I can end this war and save everyone, but I - I can choose to seek joy during my journey, too.”

Although he sounded almost as if he was reciting a creed or a mantra, Katara knew his words were sincere. Just from his one assertion she couldn’t help but be reminded of how the Air Nomads were the most enlightened of the four nations, or so Gran Gran had told her when she was little. Of all people, Aang deserved to feel _devastated_. He had suffered a loss greater than the world could comprehend. He should have been the angriest, bitter and driven for revenge more than anyone else - and yet here he was, still determined to choose forgiveness, to seek happiness from it all. Even so…

“The monks were very wise,” Katara mused after a pause. “But… I don’t think there’s any shame in feeling grief, either.” When her mother had died… sometimes Katara felt like the worst thing she’d done to herself was immediately stepping into her mother’s shoes. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much if she’d given herself more time to breathe. To mourn. To feel.

Aang’s gaze hardened. “I’m the Avatar,” he repeated. “My duty is first and foremost to the world. I’m not letting _anyone else_ down.”

And if Katara’s heart shattered, she ignored it.

What could she say? How could she possibly remind him that he didn’t have to bear that burden alone? That she and Sokka were his family now? How could she help lift a century-old weight from his shoulders, a weight equivalent to tens of thousands of lives?

How could she comfort her new friend?

“I want you to make me a promise, Avatar Aang,” Katara whispered. This time, when she placed her hand on top of his, he didn’t pull away. “When this is all over, when the war is won… Promise me that you’ll grieve.” He _needed_ to let himself feel - grief, anger, pain, relief. Whatever emotions he needed to process, she wanted to be certain that he wouldn’t bottle them up for the rest of his life.

It was undoubtedly advice she needed to take for herself, too.

Aang hesitated, then gave her a small smile. “Okay. I promise.”

Katara breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “Good.” She let go of his hand. “Now, I think we both need to get some rest. We have a long day of travelling ahead of us tomorrow.”

Aang laughed, and spirits if Katara wasn’t relieved to hear that sound. “Yeah. You’re right.” He snuggled back up against Appa, but not before giving her another grateful smile. “Thank you, Katara.”

She could do nothing but return his smile with one of her own. “You’re welcome, Aang.”

And while he drifted off into a more peaceful slumber than before, Katara remained awake, still energized by the bright glow of the moon. Perhaps when Aang mastered waterbending he’d be able to join her.

Spirits, it wasn’t _fair_! It wasn’t fair that Aang had been given no time to grieve. It wasn’t fair that his mourning was ancient history for everyone else. It wasn’t fair that no one else could ever come close to understanding his loss, because spirits knew all she wanted to do was help ease his pain.

Aang was so, so strong. And she desperately wished he didn’t have to be.

They were just kids. All of them. Even Sokka could hardly be considered an adult. No, it wasn’t fair, it never had been and never would be, but… It was reality.

The word left a bitter taste in her mouth. 

At the same time… Katara believed Aang could save the world. It was a conviction stronger than anything she’d ever felt before, and she was determined to do everything in her power to make sure he was given the chance. As long as Aang was there… The future looked bright - didn’t it?

2\. bumi: _dying is easy, child. living is harder. (it is a life you have been left to live alone, and for that, i couldn’t be more sorry.)_

“A hundred years and you’re still the greatest airbender I’ve ever known!” Bumi crowed with a screechy laugh not long after Aang had finished his three trials, pulling a green crystal of rock candy out of his robe and gnawing down on it. “It’s no wonder you got those master tattoos so young.”

Out of the corner of his eye Bumi noticed Aang carefully tracing the blue arrow on top of his left hand, and he had a sudden feeling that a more… serious question was about to come from his young friend.

“Bumi… You’ve lived during the entire war against the Fire Nation, right?”

Ah, there it was. His instincts were never wrong, even at over 100 years old. “I have.” He laughed again. “Fought in it for a while, too! Have a scar on the back of my thighs from a particularly nasty firebender who didn’t understand the concept of personal space.”

Aang managed a half-chuckle at the comment, but his expression soon became solemn again. “Did… Were all the Air Nomads really wiped out?”

Bumi grimaced. This was exactly the topic he didn’t know how to approach much less know how to discuss, but… “Well, no one can say for certain -”

“Bumi.” Aang was now looking directly at him. Piercing, steely gray eyes - eyes a shade no one had seen in a century. “I need to know.”

Bumi sighed. This conversation was really starting to make him feel his age. “I had a feeling you’d say that.” He stuck his rock candy back into his robe, not caring that it was dripping with saliva - he was 112 years old and had far more important things on his mind. Like Flopsie. And, right now… finding out how to tell Aang he was the last of the Air Nomads. “Yes,” he finally said. “They were. Fire Lord Sozin ambushed the four temples, all within the span of a few days to prevent word from spreading about his actions until it was too late.” Temples destroyed, people slaughtered, a culture forgotten - the world had yet to see another tragedy so great. Was that in itself a greater tragedy, or was it something to be grateful for?

Aang’s face had grown pale, and Bumi wondered if perhaps he should have softened the blow. No - that would only be a disservice to his friend. “And… no one escaped during the ambushes? At all?”

Bumi blew air out his lips, scratching beneath his chin. “Oh, no. Not even Sozin with the power of the comet on his side was able to wipe them all out in one attempt. A few Air Nomads got away - including, or so the Fire Nation believed, the Avatar, who was the original target of the mass slaughter.”

He could see Aang flinch at the reminder. He knew his young friend blamed himself, and unfortunately Bumi knew not the words to dissuade him.

Then hope flickered in Aang’s eyes - hope that Bumi hated he’d have to be the one to dash out. “If some people escaped, then maybe -”

Bumi shook his head, thumbing his left earlobe. “No. Sozin knew some of the airbenders had gotten away, so he laid traps. Mostly in the Earth Kingdom, if memory serves. They were little safe havens designed specifically for Air Nomads. As if created _by_ Air Nomads. He spread rumors about them. Then, when the airbenders showed up at those havens expecting to find other survivors… there were firebenders lying in wait.”

Aang swallowed a lump in his throat. “That means…” He stared down at the arrows on top of his hands. “I really am the last airbender.”

Bumi sighed in regret as he nodded, pulling his rock crystal back out of his robe to crunch on it again. “As much as I hate to confirm it, yes.” He broke off a piece of the candy with his teeth. “But you’re not just any airbender, Aang - you are the Avatar. And that is why you will be the one to restore balance to the four nations. It is _because_ you are an Avatar of the Air Nomads. While the circumstances couldn’t be much worse, it does not change that you are the only one who can end this war.”

Aang seemed doubtful of his words, but the doubt in his eyes was far outweighed by the deep, aching sadness lingering behind it. “Yeah. I know.”

Bumi didn’t know what to say, which was proof he was getting old - too old. And he hated seeing his dear friend so distraught, even if a century had passed since their last meeting. But what could he do? Give him false hope? Aang deserved better than that. In fact, Aang was perhaps the only person Bumi would ever say deserved the world - and perhaps that was the reason why Aang’s world, his people, his culture had been so cruelly stolen from him. Part of Bumi wished he understood.

The rest of him was relieved he didn’t.

“Hey, Bumi,” Aang mused, fiddling with the edge of his sleeve. “Whatever happened to Kuzon?”

Ah, Kuzon. He missed the man every day. A cornerstone of their chaotic trio. “Kuzon defected from the Fire Nation, for all intents and purposes, the moment he heard about the destruction of the Southern Air Temple,” Bumi said, stroking his chin. He heard Aang’s breath hitch, and he knew very well why. _His_ temple. “Yes. He believed you’d been killed. I had, too.”

There was a pause before Aang said anything more. “Did he - Did he come fight with you? For the Earth Kingdom?”

Bumi kindly pretended not to notice the way his young friend’s voice wavered. “Not quite.” He laughed. “Oh, but nearly so! We decided that it was best for him to remain in the Fire Nation’s army as a spy, working his way up the ranks and feeding us information all the while. Without him, Omashu would have no doubt fallen during the first few battles of the war.”

Aang looked nauseous, and Bumi had a feeling he knew exactly what thought was crossing through his mind.

“Kuzon was never caught,” Bumi promised him.

A lie.

“He died of influenza.” Another lie. “You’d be amazed at how quickly diseases can spread on a battlefield!”

Aang breathed a shaky sigh of relief, and Bumi didn’t know whether to feel relieved or guilty. “Oh. Okay.” He shuddered. “I’d hate to think of what the Fire Nation would have done to him if they’d found out…”

Bumi hated thinking about it, too. Little was more painful than Kuzon’s fate. “That’s enough talk of the past,” he decided before getting to his feet, his green robes swirling around him. “You need to look to the future, Aang - your destiny awaits. You are the Avatar. An airbender. And you _will_ defeat Fire Lord Ozai. I know you can.” Perhaps it was selfish of him to tell his oldest friend to push away the past. Selfish because he didn’t want Aang to be burdened by any more grief than he already was.

He supposed that made him a bad friend. But if it meant Aang’s smile would return… Then he’d be the worst friend in the world.

Aang slowly got to his feet, steely determination growing on his features. “I’m the only one who can end this war.” He grabbed his glider from where it was propped up against the wall, his grip tightening on the wood. “I’m the Avatar. It’s my destiny.”

“But you are also an airbender. The last airbender,” Bumi reminded him, tucking his rock candy back into his robe. “Do not forget it. You will lose yourself if you do.”

Something akin to devastation flickered in Aang’s eyes, as if the pain of remembering hurt more than simply pushing his loss away. Bumi suspected it did. “Right.”

They began walking out of the throne room, Bumi absentmindedly picking at the thinning white hairs on his scalp. But when Aang abruptly stopped in his tracks, he found himself doing the same.

“Bumi,” Aang said seriously, “once I’ve mastered waterbending at the Northern Water Tribe with Katara, will you allow me to return to Omashu and teach me earthbending?”

Bumi grinned down at his friend. “Certainly, Avatar Aang. It would be an honor.”

Third lie’s the charm, wasn’t it?

Some of the tension in Aang’s shoulders seemed to dissipate, if not all of it. He gave Bumi a relieved smile. “That’s - Awesome. Thank you.”

After they said their final goodbyes, Bumi couldn’t help but wonder if he’d gotten too soft in his old age. More sane, instead of less so. But Aang had already lost so much… No, Bumi refused to be the one to rob him of what hope he had left.

The Avatar was the _world’s_ only hope, after all. And how tragic would it be for hope to feel hopeless? No, that simply wouldn’t do.

3\. sokka: _now no one else is here with him… but us. in a perfect world - wouldn’t we all be more like you? (i don’t understand. but i’m here.)_

“Are you out of your mind?!”

Sokka winced as his sister smacked his shoulder. “What the hell, Katara?! What did I do?”

Katara crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her brother. “It’s more like what you _didn’t_ do, Sokka.” Spirits, she sounded so much like their mom it made his chest physically ache. “How can you be so callous towards Aang about what’s happened to this temple?”

Sokka stared at his sister dubiously, completely at a loss as to what point she was trying to make. “What are you talking about?”

Katara huffed, stomping her foot on the ground in a way that reminded him she was _not_ their mother, she was a kid younger than him who’d been forced to grow up just as fast. “This temple was _sacred_ to the Air Nomads, Sokka. So when you go around praising all these ‘advancements’ that have destroyed a lot of the history of this place, at least don’t do it in front of Aang, okay?”

Sokka rolled his eyes. Really, his sister worried too much. “It’s been a hundred years, Katara. I promise you that no Air Nomads have been here for a long time.”

“Argh!” Katara looked like she wanted to tear her hair out, though she refrained and instead threw her hands down to her sides. Sokka wondered if he’d maybe, just maybe, said the wrong thing. “You are so close to getting the point!” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look. For us, for the rest of the world, it’s been a hundred years, yeah. But for Aang, it’s only been a few weeks! He saw these people _recently_ in his mind. How would you feel if you took a nap and then woke up to find everyone you knew, all of your friends and family, had been _killed_ and there were a bunch of strangers living in the South Pole who’d destroyed parts of Gran Gran’s house to put a bunch of metal tubes all through it?!”

Her rapid-fire words hit him with the force of a sledgehammer, and Sokka’s immediate reaction was to go on the defensive. “What, are you saying it’s wrong to admire how impressive the technology here is?” he demanded. “Because that’s _really_ regressive of you, Katara. I thought you were better than that.”

She glared at him again, and his blood turned to ice. “That is _not_ what I am saying and you know it, Sokka.” Her fists clenched at her sides before slowly relaxing. “Just… try to be more considerate, okay? I’m sure this is a lot for Aang to take in, and your obnoxious behavior is in no way helping.”

And before he could think of a good, snarky retort to respond with, she walked away.

Unfortunately, Katara made a good point. She often did, as much as it could irk him. She also seemed to understand Aang way better than he did - again, kind of annoying! He considered himself a very empathetic person, after all.

Sokka glanced over his shoulder, then found himself turning fully around on his heel as he caught sight of Aang standing beneath a… what had once been a beautiful, intricate mural that was now a mess of cracks and giant metal tubes.

He’d never seen the Avatar - Aang, his _friend_ \- look so much like a child before. Sure, he knew Aang was only 12, but standing before the destroyed artwork he seemed so painfully small and fragile and -

Oh.

_Oh_.

That was what Katara meant.

Spirits, he _had_ been hasty in his excitement. Or at least insensitive of how he’d portrayed it. While Sokka saw no problem in appreciating technological advancement that had been created for the benefit of humanity and to make people’s lives easier, now he saw how the desecration of the Northern Air Temple that had happened as a result was… a tragedy. There was nothing else to call it. And it had been callous of him to dismiss its destruction as - as a problem of years past, when Aang was there _now_.

He didn’t really know what to do about his revelation. Apologize to his friend? Tell Teo and the other refugees to restore the temple by removing their machines or even to completely move out? The last option felt _way_ too harsh, and Sokka had a feeling that the Avatar wouldn’t take kindly to innocent victims of the Fire Nation being pushed out of their home, even if that home had once belonged to his people.

Of course, the moment Sokka decided that he at least wanted to _talk_ to Aang, everything went to shit, right? A million things just had to happen in rapid succession, thus completely devouring any time he’d planned to use to sit down and talk with his friend one-on-one. Teo’s dad was secretly building weapons for the Fire Nation, then once they convinced him to stop they had to _defend_ the temple from a Fire Nation attack, and once _that_ was all said and done they’d had to hastily pack their bags and leave before word could get out that the Avatar was staying at the Northern Air Temple. Or so they’d intended, at least.

“One more night,” Teo had pleaded with them. “Stay one more night. There’s no point in you leaving now - the sun’s already setting, and you’re all exhausted from fighting so much today. One more night.”

Teo was right, and after receiving Aang’s nod of approval, they decided to stay. They all slept in the courtyard next to Appa, however, instead of the rooms offered to them - just in case they needed to make a hasty exit.

‘Sleeping’ was a relative term, of course. Katara had passed out the second she’d hit the ground, with Momo curled up at her feet. From the looks of it, Aang had also easily slipped into a quiet slumber. But not Sokka - no matter what he did, sleep refused to come. He counted stars, lay down in a hundred different positions, even tried resting with and without his sleeping bag. No luck. It seemed he was doomed to get zero hours of shut-eye. Maybe he could try to sleep tomorrow? On their way to the North Pole? Appa didn’t usually suffer from major turbulence.

As Sokka debated how uncomfortable Appa’s saddle could _really_ be so long as he tried to sleep on top of several blankets, he noticed Aang roll over before slowly sitting up, rubbing his bleary eyes with the base of his palm. Sokka remained as still as possible, not wanting his friend to know he was awake for a reason he couldn’t quite explain.

Aang stood, patting Appa on the nose when the sky bison whined softly. “I’m fine, buddy,” he whispered. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m not going far.”

Sokka watched as Aang left. Well, ‘left’ wasn’t exactly the right word, because he didn’t _go_ anywhere. Not really. He simply walked to the other side of the courtyard and sat down in front of… the mural from earlier.

Right.

Well, Sokka already couldn’t sleep. Might as well stay awake with company.

Moving slowly so as not to wake his sister, Sokka carefully pulled himself out of his sleeping bag and joined Aang on the other side of the room, sitting down next to his friend but leaving a few feet of space between them.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sokka finally blurted out, his mind having scrambled for and failed to find a different conversation-starter.

Aang laughed, though it was quiet - he also probably didn’t want to disturb Katara. She was _really_ grumpy when she didn’t get enough rest. “I could ask the same to you.”

Sokka shrugged. “Eh. You know how it is. Just got a lot on my mind after… everything with the past few days.”

Aang nodded in understanding. “Want to talk about it?”

Sokka exhaled slowly. It was now or never. “Yeah. That’d be nice.” He placed his hands behind him, leaning back slightly to look up at the cracked, faded mural. Aang’s gaze hadn’t left it the entire time. “I wanted to apologize to you.”

_That_ got Aang to look away, and his expression was so scandalized Sokka nearly burst out laughing. “To me? For what?”

“For being so… inconsiderate about all the differences in the temple. I mean, I can’t imagine how you must have felt, coming here and seeing… expecting to experience a temple that was sacred to the Air Nomads, that was important to _you_ , only for it to be…” ‘Destroyed’ was on the tip of his tongue, but something in him chose a different word. “For it to have been changed. And then _I_ lauded those changes like they were the pinnacle of progress. Rubbing that in your face - it was a really jerk thing for me to do, and I’m sorry.”

Aang hesitated before he shook his head, stubbornness flickering in his gray eyes. Huh. He must have picked that up from Katara. “No. You have nothing to apologize for, Sokka. Change - it’s not an inherently bad thing. They made the changes here to - to survive. No one is to blame or be judged for that.” He offered Sokka a comforting smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “And it’s like Teo said - the spirit of the airbenders lives on here. So… It’s okay.”

Aang had gotten better at lying. But not good enough.

Still, Sokka didn’t want to argue with the kid. It seemed like a more… delicate approach would be needed. “That’s true,” he admitted. “Change isn’t always bad. But change, even good change, can still hurt.” He glanced at his friend. “It’s okay to miss what was, you know. The Air Nomads. The way the temple used to be. And it’s okay to feel angry, too, that something important to you has been disrespected, regardless of whether or not that was anyone’s intention.” He refused to let himself off the hook - he hadn’t _meant_ to, but he _had_ hurt his friend, and it would be wrong of him to pretend otherwise. “I know it’s been… really hard for you, in general. Finding out that everything and everyone you know are… gone.” He looked back up at the mural as Aang squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “So it’s okay to be sad. I can’t pretend to understand what you’re going through, but… I’m here.”

It was almost like comforting Katara, in a weird way. The situation was completely different, sure, but offering a shoulder to cry on? That feeling, that protectiveness… it was the same.

“Thanks, Sokka,” was all Aang ended up saying, his eyes still squeezed shut and his fists balled up at his sides. Sokka had a feeling he was fighting back tears, and although he knew crying was both a natural and healthy form of release, he also understood that sometimes… well, vulnerability could be scary.

“Can you do me a favor?” he found himself asking as he looked back over at Aang, who blinked a few times before properly turning to meet his gaze.

“Um… Probably?”

Sokka gestured around them. “Tell me about the temple. What each room was for. What every single picture on this on this wall looked like, and what they all meant. What the monks did in their daily routines.” If Aang told him everything, then… It’d be harder for him to forget. The least he could do was help his friend keep the memory of the Air Nomads alive.

Aang stared at Sokka before offering him a soft smile. “Sokka, it’s okay. You don’t have to -”

“Of course I don’t _have_ to,” Sokka scoffed, rolling his eyes. “But I want to.” He grinned at his friend, trying to lighten the mood. “The present learns from the past, right? That means I have a lot to learn about this temple before we leave.”

Aang laughed, and spirits if Sokka wasn’t relieved to hear that sound. “Okay. Point taken.” He then gestured up to the mural. “So this shows the history of airbending, right? The Air Nomads learned airbending from the sky bison, and because of that the championships for sky bison polo would be hosted at this temple every year!”

And when Katara found them the next morning, both asleep at the foot of a tall, crumbling statue in an entirely different room, Sokka was relieved to note that she wasn’t angry. Instead, she simply pulled them into a tight hug and whispered, “Come on. We have to go.”

As they flew away on Appa, Sokka reached down from the saddle above to squeeze Aang’s shoulder. “We’ll be back,” he promised. He meant it.

Aang hesitated, then nodded, giving him a grateful smile. “Yeah. We will.”

4\. toph: _reach for my hand when it’s held out to you… my shoulders are small, but you can cry on them, too. (i’m sorry. it’s my fault he’s gone.)_

Toph felt like she was going to throw up. Not because she was sick. Not because she’d eaten something bad. Not because she was dehydrated in the desert, though that nausea had been partially induced by the overly-sweet smell of cactus juice on Sokka’s breath.

No, Toph felt like she was going to throw up because Long Feng had done something to Appa. Knew something about him. Was keeping the sky bison hostage, or - spirits, she didn’t _know_ what he’d done, but the venomous threat in his words had not gone over any of their heads.

And it was _her_ fault Long Feng had that leverage. Yeah, it was the sandbenders who were ultimately in the wrong for stealing Appa, but if she’d been a better earthbender, then they never would have gotten away with him in the first place. Which was why she’d made it a personal goal to improve her sandbending - never again would she be helpless in the face of danger. Not that she’d ever tell her friends about this new task on her to-do list. Especially not Aang.

But at the end of the day, Toph was responsible for Appa being stolen. She knew she was. She wished she could deny it and pretend all the blame could be put on the sandbenders, but that wouldn’t be the truth. Hearing the threat from Long Feng had only reminded her of her guilt and cemented her fault further in her mind, hence why she’d felt nauseous all day and also why she’d taken to avoiding Aang. If Twinkle Toes had noticed her keeping her distance, he hadn’t said anything about it, for which she was grateful. She’d hate for him to get too close and cause her to throw up all over his twinkly little shoes.

Now it was the middle of the night - or at least she assumed it was, since everyone had been asleep for a really long time and it wasn’t like she could check a stupid clock - and Toph was lying on the ground completely awake. Concern, guilt, and anxiety gnawed at the edges of her stomach, and she knew she wouldn’t be falling into a content slumber anytime soon. They were supposed to be making posters about Appa the next day to distribute around the city. She couldn’t see - ha - how she’d fit into that particular plan, for obvious reasons, but she figured she’d end up doing whatever Katara told her to do, anyways.

As Toph rolled over on her makeshift bed, she heard the quietest patter of feet crossing the room towards the door - she couldn’t see who it was, because the stupid house they were in was made of wood, but even without her earthbending she recognized those light footsteps.

Aang. And based on how his steps had somehow gotten even quieter, it sounded like he’d gone outside. Ugh. Probably to sit on the roof. It was the airbender in him, she knew it.

Before Toph could stop herself, she followed him. Which was a pain and she regretted her decision _immediately_ because she couldn’t freaking see where she was going and she definitely stepped on something soft - maybe Sokka, maybe Momo - before she managed to make it out of the house and plant her feet on wonderful, glorious, _solid_ earth.

“I know you’re up there, Twinkle Toes,” she said after a pause, crossing her arms over her chest. Or she _thought_ he was, at least. The house was on the ground and he was presumably on top of the house, but because the house was made of wood - well, the lines blurred a little, she’d admit it.

Then she heard Aang chuckle from above, and her suspicions were confirmed. “Care to join me?” he asked, and Toph couldn’t help but smirk, even if she did feel slightly nauseated by the idea of talking to Aang when the fact that it was _her_ fault Appa had been stolen was perpetually on her mind.

“It’d be my pleasure.” But before she could slide her foot to raise the earth and carry herself up to the roof, she was lifted by a gust of air, and she had to bite her tongue and cover her mouth with her hands to hold back a shriek that probably would have woken all of Ba Sing Se.

“Sorry,” Aang apologized with muffled snickering as he lowered her onto the roof next to him. “I just figured airbending might be slightly more inconspicuous than a giant column of dirt rising out of the ground at one in the morning.”

Toph glared at him. Or in his general direction, she hoped. Argh! She hated wooden structures! “A little _warning_ would have been nice. Count yourself lucky that I didn’t scream.” At least he’d confirmed it was the middle of the night, as she’d suspected.

Aang laughed again. “You’re right, you’re right. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Toph snorted. “‘Next time’? You mean you refuse to quit your nefarious practice of snatching innocent earthbenders off the ground in the middle of the night?”

Aang smirked at her. Or it felt like a moment where he’d smirk, anyways. “I will never stop. In fact, I plan to _expand_ my practice - the next victims shall be waterbenders, non-benders, and lemurs alike!”

Toph snickered. “Okay. Since you’re not exclusive, I’ll allow it.” She felt him move his right leg to softly press it against her left one, thus giving her a better idea of where he was, which she silently appreciated. “Anyways. What are you doing up so late, Twinkle Toes?” Or so early, she supposed, if they were being technical about it.

Oh no. She was starting to think like Sokka.

Aang sighed, and she heard rustling from his direction. Ugh. She _really_ wished the stupid house was made out of clay or something - _anything_ \- she could see with. “I was… I mean, it’s kind of stupid, but after meeting with Long Feng today… I was thinking about Appa. If he’s okay.”

Toph stiffened, and she hoped he hadn’t noticed. “Oh. What do you mean?”

“I - what if Long Feng was bluffing? What if Appa’s _not_ in Ba Sing Se? What if the sandbenders were lying, and they never sold him in the first place? What if -” He faltered, and she could practically hear him clenching his jaw shut.

“What if you never see him again?” Toph finished, grateful her own voice didn’t waver.

“Yeah,” Aang agreed after a pause. The idiot had probably nodded first. “I’m just… I’m really worried about him.” He sighed again. “And - And I know we have bigger problems to think about. Sozin’s Comet is coming at the end of the summer and I’ve only mastered one and a half elements - maybe one and three-quarters, if Katara’s feeling extra nice - and we currently have no idea where to find anyone who could teach me firebending, but… I miss him so much, Toph. It’s been _weeks_ , and we have no real idea where he is or what could be happening to him!”

Toph didn’t respond, a mixture of her not knowing what to say and also not wanting to cry in front of Twinkle Toes, of all people. She was the greatest earthbender in the world! Strength of will was supposed to be her specialty.

“I think… it’s really selfish of me to miss him so much, too,” Aang continued. She could picture - in the loosest sense - him absentmindedly fiddling with the edge of his sleeve. “When Katara and Sokka found me in the iceberg and - and I found out I was the last airbender, I told myself that at least I still had Appa, you know? At least there was one friend to remind me of the way things used to be. And now…” Aang’s voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat before he continued. “Now he’s gone, too. He was my last - Appa was all I had left from my people. He was the only part of my culture that _survived_ the century… But I guess the spirits saw fit to take him from me, too.” Then he laughed - quietly. Sadly. Wearily. “Sorry for dumping all that on you. I know you’re not big on touchy-feely stuff. I think I just needed to get it out into the universe.”

He was right - she _wasn’t_ big on anything related to emotions. Hence why it was taking every ounce of willpower in her body to stop her from bursting into tears on the spot, because now she felt even worse about what had gone down in the desert. Aang’s last, his _only_ connection to the Air Nomads - and Toph had let it slip through her fingers like grains of sand.

What an awfully fitting comparison, she realized bitterly. Then, much to her utter humiliation, she felt a few tears escape her eyes and begin sliding down her cheeks.

“Toph?!” Aang frantically exclaimed. “Wha - Are you crying?!”

Toph immediately jerked her head away so he couldn’t see her face. “No! Shut up!”

“I’m so sorry!” he continued rambling, as if he hadn’t heard her denial. In his panicked state, maybe he hadn’t. “I didn’t even think about how you must miss Appa a lot, too, even if you guys didn’t always -”

“I said shut up, Twinkle Toes!” Toph snapped, furiously wiping her eyes with her sleeve before turning back around to glare at him. “You don’t - there’s nothing you need to be sorry for! It was _my_ fault Appa got stolen in the first place!” She took in a shuddering breath, determined not to let any more tears fall. “It was my fault, okay? I couldn’t stop the sandbenders. If - If I had been a better earthbender, then they never would have gotten away with Appa, and we wouldn’t be stuck in Ba Sing Se.” She sniffed, again angrily rubbing at her eyes. “It’s my fault you lost your last connection to the Air Nomads. I’m sorry, Aang.” She dropped her head, turning away from him again. “I’m so, so sorry. You don’t have to forgive me, either.” She dragged her right palm across the roof. “I don’t deserve it.”

She couldn’t imagine - didn’t _want_ to imagine - how Aang must have felt, gliding across an infinite desert in search of the last surviving piece of his culture. Now she understood why he’d entered the Avatar state. Now she understood why he’d cried himself to sleep those first few nights. Appa was far more than a ‘pet’, as she’d once dismissively thought him to be.

Worst of all, now she understood why that professor had called Aang a living relic. Because in a sense… he was.

“Toph…” Aang’s voice was gentle. Far more gentle than she deserved. “You can’t blame yourself. There’s no way you could have -”

“It _is_ my fault!” she snapped, throwing her hands up in the air. “Spirits, why aren’t you _angry_ at me, Aang? Why - Why aren’t you angry at _everyone_ , because the whole world sure seems to have it out for you!” Shouting didn’t really help either of them, but at least shouting made it easier for her to fight back her tears.

Aang didn’t respond at first, and if it weren’t for his right leg still pressed against her left one, she might have been worried that he’d airbended off the roof and disappeared into the night. “When I get angry,” he finally said, “I always hurt people. People I care about. I refuse to let that keep happening. And Toph.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. She couldn’t help but flinch at his touch. “It is _not_ your fault Appa was stolen. You were faced with an impossible decision. Yeah, I was upset at first, but I can’t - I would _never_ hold that against you, okay? So if you try to blame yourself again, so help me I will airbend you off this roof.”

Toph laughed, though the sound was still mixed with her tears. “That’s the emptiest threat I’ve ever heard.” She took in a deep, slow breath, and it was at least somewhat effective in helping her calm down. “I’m… I’m still sorry that Appa was taken, though. It probably doesn’t mean much, but” - her jaw clenched - “we _will_ get him back. And when we do, I’m going to crack open the skull of whoever was keeping him captive.”

Aang laughed, and this time she knew she wasn’t the only one fighting back tears. “Thanks, Toph. I appreciate that.”

She scooted closer to him on the roof, so their shoulders were pressed together. “It’s okay to cry, Twinkle Toes.”

And though she couldn’t see his face, she knew he’d cracked a smile at that. “I’m not crying, Sifu Toph.”

“Then neither am I.”

And if they were both lying, well… It wasn’t like anyone was there to see them.

5\. guru pathik: _floating alone on a raging black ocean, low in the water, with nowhere to go - how much longer until he drowns?_

Helping a person open their chakras could be tricky business. He was never quite sure what to expect. Even with the young Avatar, and knowing much about the child’s experiences in travelling the world, there were still many fickle elements of uncertainty.

“Lay all your grief out in front of you,” he instructed the boy. As expected, pain washed over him like a crashing tidal wave when the Avatar did as directed. But after the first wave came another. And another. The waves did not stop pounding - perhaps a surprise, perhaps not. The child’s grief was less a single wave, after all, and more an ocean - infinite and ever so easy to drown in. It was remarkable the young boy had stayed afloat for so long.

“You have indeed felt a great loss,” he murmured. The greatest loss, perhaps, that any one person could possibly know. “But love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads’ love for you has not left this world.” Nor did they blame him for their fate, though this was a truth the boy would have to learn and accept on his own. “It is still inside of your heart. And it is reborn in the form of new love.”

Whether his words were consolation, advice, or merely what was true… He couldn’t be sure.

“Let the pain flow away,” he concluded, and as the young Avatar wiped the tears from beneath his eyes, smiling a sad but peaceful smile, he knew the fate of the world was in good hands.

6\. zuko: _but no one ever will take my side - all i ever do is take the fall! i swear that i’m a good kid! (guess i’m good for nothing at all… he should hate me. why doesn’t he hate me?)_

Zuko frowned as he realized the exact person he was looking for was not sitting around the campfire with the rest of the group. “Where’s Aang?” he demanded before grimacing at the harshness of his tone. “I mean… Do any of you know where Aang is?”

Sokka shrugged carelessly. “Nope. I think he went off to meditate somewhere?”

Zuko supposed it was too much to ask for them to pay more attention to the whereabouts of the _Avatar_ … “Do you have any idea what direction he went in?”

Sokka shrugged again, smirking at him. “Not a clue!”

Suki rolled her eyes at her boyfriend’s overly-theatrical antics before giving Zuko a sympathetic smile. “Sorry. I didn’t see where Aang went, either.”

Katara said nothing. He knew she still didn’t like him. Not that he could really blame her for that. She was eyeing him with more suspicion than usual, though… Probably wondering why he was so doggedly seeking out Aang. In his opinion, that was none of her business.

Toph groaned. “I have to do _all_ the work around here, don’t I?” She placed her hands flat on the ground, picking them up only a few seconds later before pointing directly to her left. “That way. He’s sitting near a cliff edge or something. And it did kinda feel like he was meditating. You’re welcome.”

Zuko gave her a curt nod. “Thank you.” He started to walk away, but was almost immediately stopped by the sound of Katara’s voice.

“And what, exactly, do you need from Aang?” she demanded, and he turned around to see that she had her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him accusingly. “Not planning to push him off the edge of that cliff while he’s in the Spirit World, are you?”

Toph cackled at that. “Man, you are so much cooler when you’re morbid, Sugar Queen!”

Zuko bit back a sigh. He didn’t have time to argue with Katara. He understood her distrust of him, he really did, but that didn’t make it any less irritating when there were tasks he needed to complete without being needlessly questioned. “I just want to talk to him about his firebending.”

That was… partially true.

It was almost funny how Katara’s hatred towards him was so simple. Logical. It made sense.

Aang’s unending kindness towards him? Less so.

Katara didn’t look like she believed his excuse, but she relaxed when Sokka put his hand on her knee.

“Get moving, hotman,” Sokka then said, smirking again. “Don’t you want to catch Aang _before_ he gets deep enough into his meditation to actually enter the Spirit World?”

Zuko resisted the urge to shoot a fireball at Sokka’s head. Of _all_ the slang Aang had to bring back… “Right,” he said stiffly, nodding again before leaving the campsite.

This time, no one stopped him.

Aang was meditating on a precipice that wasn’t far from where they’d all set up their tents - for safety or for comfort, Zuko wasn’t sure. Possibly both. He hesitated, but sat down next to his friend, crossing his legs in a similar fashion. He didn’t really know what to say to initiate a conversation between them, but Aang - perceptive as always - thankfully spared him from having to.

“Long day?”

Zuko snorted. That was an understatement. “I suppose you could say that.” He glanced at his friend. “I imagine it’s been longest for you.”

Aang gave him a puzzled frown. “What do you mean?”

Zuko wasn’t sure if it would be considered callous for him to say what he was about to say, but he pressed on anyway. “The Western Air Temple. The fact that so much of it is now destroyed.”

Aang winced - arguably the most ‘negative’ reaction Zuko had seen from him all day. “Er… Yeah.” He let his hands fall from his meditative pose into his lap, staring down at his palms. “You’re right. That was definitely a low point.”

All Zuko could do was stare at him incredulously. Try as he might, he felt like he would never understand Aang or anything about his thought process. ‘A low point’?! A temple sacred to his now-slaughtered people had been destroyed, ruined, turned into rubble, and all he had to say was -

“Anyways,” Aang said, shaking his head, “was there a reason you came to find me, Sifu Hotman?”

Zuko’s right eye twitched. He meant to say, _Stop calling me that!_ In response. Really, he had, because he despised that nickname. But what came out of his mouth was something entirely different. “Why don’t you hate the Fire Nation?”

Aang froze, his shoulders visibly stiffening. “What do you mean?”

Spirits, was their conversation on some kind of cursed loop? “I said, why don’t you hate the Fire Nation?” Zuko repeated, slamming his fist into the ground. “It - It doesn’t make any sense!”

Aang frowned. “What doesn’t make sense? Why do you think I _should_ hate the Fire Nation?”

Zuko didn’t know whether to scream in frustration or to sink down into sobs. “Because - Because we took _everything_ from you!” he shouted, his voice breaking halfway through. “You of all people have every reason to be angry at us. We systematically slaughtered your people, laid out traps to guarantee their extermination like they were mere animals. We burned every damn parchment, rewrote entire history books, erased every single aspect of their existence just to make sure no one would remember the Air Nomads as they were! Because of us, you’re…”

“The last airbender?” Aang finished quietly after a moment had passed.

Zuko nodded. No greater crime had been committed in history than what his people had done to the Air Nomads. It made his stomach roll. “You should hate us.”

Aang sighed. “I have nothing to gain from hatred. The monks taught me -”

“I don’t want to hear about what the monks taught you,” Zuko snapped, glaring at his friend before immediately regretting the action but unable to take it back. “I know you believe in peace and forgiveness, okay? But how do you _live_ it? How have you chosen that life over one of anger and bitterness?” He’d been drowning in rage for most of his time alive, so much so he hadn’t even been able to firebend without it.

Aang seemed to mull the question over, chewing his bottom lip. “Well,” he said slowly, “for one, there’s no reason for me to hate the _entire_ Fire Nation. Most people there are innocent civilians. I bear no ill will against them. And two, this war has been going on for a long, long time.” He laughed, and when Zuko closed his eyes, he could hear the faintest edge of bitterness to it. “I missed the first hundred years of it, for that matter.” He cleared his throat before he continued. “My point is that the people of the Fire Nation today did not start this war. They did not lead the genocide of the Air Nomads, therefore I cannot hold what happened to my people against them.”

“But we’ve _continued_ that same war!” Zuko argued, his fists clenching at his sides. How did he not get it?! “The Fire Nation still fights for the same goal as when the war began - power. Supremacy. Total control. They haven’t stopped, and they’re not going to unless someone” - _you_ \- “stops them! You have every right to bear a grudge against us!”

Aang sent him an icy look that made Zuko’s blood run cold through his body. “Stop doing that.”

Zuko blinked. “What?”

“Stop saying ‘us’. You keep lumping yourself in with every crime you describe. You are not to blame for the actions of anyone else, including those of your ancestors _and_ those of your father. So stop acting like you are.”

Zuko didn’t know if Aang was the wisest or the most naive person he’d ever known. “But I’m not free of blame, either,” he muttered, dropping his gaze to the ground. “I spent years of my life hunting you, Aang. I hurt you and your friends every day after I found out the Avatar had returned. I still hurt them now. Especially Katara. I tried to kill you in the cave beneath Ba Sing Se, and I let Azula actually go through with it. Then I found out you were still alive, so I sent ‘Combustion Man’ after you to finish the job. The Western Air Temple was destroyed because of _me_. Because _I_ hired the assassin, and because Azula was hunting _me_ down. If it weren’t for me…”

Maybe the war would have ended weeks ago.

Spirits, hadn’t his family caused enough destruction? Hurt enough people? Ruined enough lives?

“You’re my friend now, Zuko,” Aang said stubbornly. “I’ve forgiven you for your mistakes a long time ago, so I am not going to let you sit here and beat yourself up over the past and things you can’t change. A lot of the stuff you’re talking about - blame for those actions can’t be solely put on your shoulders, either, which means -”

“And _I_ am not going to let you sit here and pretend everything’s okay!” Zuko felt like he was going to explode - not _at_ Aang, but on his behalf. “You should be angry! You should be upset! Why don’t you let yourself feel those painful emotions, Avatar? Because if you don’t, I promise that you will _never_ be able to move on, and you will _never_ be able to defeat my father.”

“That’s not true,” Aang said, and Zuko saw it - a flicker, the briefest hint of frustration in his eyes. “Happiness is - it’s a choice, okay? And I’m choosing to forgive and move on. It’s best for everyone.”

“Great! Then forgive them!” _Forgive me._ “But you shouldn’t bottle up your anger. You shouldn’t let yourself forget what the Fire Nation” - _what I_ \- “has done to you, and -”

“You think I could forget?!”

Zuko found himself getting shoved backwards by an invisible wall of air, his back slamming against a tree trunk as Aang floated to his feet, now standing tall above him.

“You think I could _forget_ everything I’ve lost?” Aang blinked furiously, but Zuko didn’t miss the single tear that escaped from his friend’s eye. “I will _never_ forget the harm the Fire Nation has caused. To me, or to anyone else. But I can’t dwell on that anger, because I’m the Avatar, and it’s my responsibility and mine alone to restore balance to the world.” He grabbed at the orange fabric over the left side of his chest. Over his heart. “I can’t - I can’t do that if my _own_ feelings aren’t balanced. I have no time to get caught up in the past when the future is on the line. So I’m choosing to forgive and to move on. I _have_ no other choice. Everyone” - his voice cracked - “everyone is _counting_ on me to save the world. I can’t let them down. Not again.”

Zuko’s own voice was caught in his throat - whether that was an effect of airbending or his own emotions, he didn’t know - but he was saved from having to say anything in immediate response when Aang’s eyes widened in horror as he realized what he’d done.

“Spirits, I’m - I’m so sorry, Zuko,” he stammered, taking a weak step backwards before sinking back down to the ground, holding his head in his hands. “I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

Zuko shook his head, placing his hand on Aang’s shoulder. “No. I pushed you.” He couldn’t stop a small smirk from sliding onto his lips, even as his heart rate was still dropping back down to normal. “But don’t you feel a little better? Now that you’ve let it all out?”

Aang took a deep breath before slowly sitting up and rolling his eyes dramatically, the tears on his cheeks starting to dry. He then gave Zuko a small smile. The tension in his body seemed to have lessened, too. “Maybe just a little bit.” He paused, then added, “Thank you.”

Zuko took a deep breath of his own. “What are friends for?” He was still unfamiliar, he supposed, with the _real_ concept of friendship - the only exception being Mai - so hopefully… Hopefully he was starting to get it right.

Hopefully Aang had truly forgiven him.

“Zuko,” Aang said suddenly, startling the firebender out of his thoughts. “Can I ask you something?”

Zuko managed a low chuckle. “After what I just bombarded you with? Go ahead.”

That earned another smile from Aang, though it was soon replaced by a more serious expression. “When the war is over… I want you to help me rebuild the Western Air Temple.”

Zuko stared at him in shock. “You - what? Me?”

Aang nodded. “It might help you further separate ‘we’ from ‘I’ when you lead the Fire Nation into a new era of peace and balance.”

Zuko supposed that was the wisdom of the airbenders in him talking. Normally he found it kind of annoying, but now… Not so much. Maybe that was a bittersweet symbol of the reality they lived in. “It would be my honor, Avatar.” He paused, then added, “And just so you know… you don’t have to do everything alone, Aang. I thought I did, and where did the spirits lead me?” He chuckled. “To you. To new friends. They showed me that at the end of the day, I didn’t have to carry the weight of the world by myself.”

Aang cracked a smile at that. “I guess I’ll keep that in mind, Sifu Hotman.”

“Spirits, _please_ stop calling me ‘hotman’.”

Aang laughed, and it may have been the most joyful sound Zuko had ever heard. “Not a chance!”

7\. suki: _that’s why we’re alive, we will conquer, time after time and never falter - we will survive, we are warriors… (the most difficult decisions must always be made by the kindest of souls.)_

_So when you figure out the way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I’d love to hear it!_

Suki paused outside of Aang’s bedroom as she recalled his outburst from earlier. It was one of very few times she’d ever seen the airbender get angry enough to snap at his friends, and he’d retreated immediately afterwards to avoid further conflict, too. She was… well, she was worried about him. He was the Avatar, yes, but he was so young. Much younger than she knew Kyoshi had been when her island’s namesake had simply been _informed_ that she was the Avatar. And more importantly… Aang was her friend. No, she couldn’t think of another way for him to defeat Ozai without killing him - she firmly believed that killing Ozai was the only option to guarantee peace - but she was also aware that taking a person’s life was the hardest decision anyone could make. She felt for him, and she knew Sokka was worried, too, even if that worry presented itself in frustration.

Suki hesitated, then knocked on the door.

Aang sighed from in his room. “Not right now, Katara. I promise we can talk later.”

Suki had to bite back a laugh. “Not Katara. Suki. Want me to come back in a bit?”

There was a long pause. “Oh.” He sounded embarrassed about his hasty assumption, though Suki couldn’t help but find the whole thing rather amusing. “Er… No, it’s okay. Do you need something?”

Suki leaned against the wooden doorframe. “I just wanted to talk to you.” She hesitated, then added, “About Ozai.”

There was another pause, and then the door was pushed open by a gentle gust of air. Suki took that as her cue to enter, and therefore did so, walking in to find Aang sitting cross-legged outside on the balcony. She joined him on the ground, though she chose to sit with her back against the wooden railing.

“I don’t suppose you’ve thought of another way for me to defeat the Fire Lord?” Aang said glumly, lowering his hands to his lap out of his typical meditative position.

Suki hesitated, but shook her head. “I’m afraid not.” The heaviness to Aang’s gray eyes almost made her wish she’d kept walking and gone right past his room. She hated that there was nothing she could do to help resolve his struggle.

“Then did you come here to convince me to kill him?”

She could see his shoulders tense at the thought, and she shook her head again. “Not quite.” Suki leaned fully back onto the railing that edged the balcony. “I do think killing Ozai is the best option. Possibly the only option. But I’m not here to convince you of anything, one way or the other. I want to know the _real_ reason, Aang, that you don’t want to take Ozai’s life.” She sent him a dubious look. “And don’t give me the whole ‘second chance’ and ‘even the Fire Nation’ spiel. I’m not as thick-headed as Sokka and Zuko.” She suspected they were the only ones who’d bought Aang’s earlier argument. Men.

Aang looked like he wanted to protest, but then seemed to decide against it - a wise decision. “The monks taught me that all life is sacred,” he finally said, staring down at the blue arrows on top of his hands. “To take a life, regardless of who or what it belongs to, is the heaviest burden and the greatest tragedy.”

Suki said nothing, instead simply nodding. She didn’t want to interrupt his explanation.

“That’s - recognizing that all life is sacred is the core belief of my people,” Aang continued, his voice wavering slightly. “I mean, we’re all vegetarians because of it! And now… I’m all that’s _left_ of my people. I’m the only one who can live by and uphold our beliefs. If I - If I _kill_ Ozai, then I’ll have finished the extermination of the Air Nomads that Sozin started a hundred years ago. The culture of the Air Nomads would no longer exist because killing him would mean that I violated our central teaching! How am I supposed to balance the four nations if only three remain? How am I supposed to willingly destroy the little that is left of my people and our culture? How - How am I supposed to be the last airbender _and_ the Avatar?” After a long pause, he closed his fists and lifted his head to look at Suki. “I know you still think I should kill him.”

It was a statement, not a question. The misery in Aang’s voice made Suki’s heart ache, and part of her wanted nothing more than to hug him and promise him that things would work out. But that was not a promise she could guarantee, so she refrained.

“I was born and raised on Kyoshi Island,” she finally said, “and I chose to become a Kyoshi Warrior the second I was old enough to voice my own opinion in the matter. I studied night and day, learning everything about Avatar Kyoshi - her fighting style, how she lived, the beliefs she held. And I know that she would not hesitate to take Ozai’s life if it meant guaranteeing the safety of the world.” Aang flinched, and she held up a hand to stop him from countering before she could finish. “But. You are not Avatar Kyoshi. You are Aang. You are the Avatar _and_ an airbender. You’re not just hope for for the future of the world - you’re hope for the future of your people, too. You are hope that their culture can live on, even when Sozin tried his hardest to stomp it out. If anyone can find a way to take Ozai down without killing him, Aang, it’s you.”

Part of her believed he would, too, even if she had no idea what to make of that odd confidence inside of her.

Some of the tension seemed to ease out of Aang’s shoulders, and he gave her a small, grateful smile. “Thanks, Suki. That means a lot coming from you.”

Suki returned his smile with a warm one of her own. “Anytime.” She pursed her lips, internally debating whether or not to voice her next thought. “But… If the Air Nomads were alive today, I don’t think they would judge you for killing Ozai, Aang. If that _is_ what it comes down to.”

Aang sighed. “I don’t think so, either.” Steely determination hardened in his gray eyes. “And that’s even more reason why I can’t kill him. There has to be another way. I _know_ there is.” He grimaced. “I just have to figure it out before Sozin’s Comet comes.”

A near-impossible task, as much as Suki hated to admit it. But she kept that thought to herself. “Then I’ll leave you be so you can think in peace,” she said, getting to her feet and brushing off her pants. “If I _am_ able to figure something out, though, I promise I’ll tell you right away.”

That earned a smile from Aang. “I appreciate the support.”

She started to leave, but found herself pausing in the doorway. “Hey,” she said, slowly turning back around. “Thank you for being honest with me about why you don’t want to kill Ozai. I… That couldn’t have been easy.” It was never easy, she assumed, for him to think about how he was the last airbender.

“Thank you for listening,” Aang replied sincerely. “And for not…” His face reddened. “You know. Saying kindness is a weakness and stuff like that.”

Hmph. Suki was going to have a word or two with the person she suspected was the one to suggest such a thing. “Kindness is humanity’s greatest strength.” She bowed to him. “Goodnight, Avatar Aang. Sleep well.”

Aang bowed to her in return. “Goodnight, Suki. See you tomorrow.”

And when Suki did _not_ see Aang the next day, well, she couldn’t say she was surprised. Was she worried out of her mind for his safety? Spirits, yes, she had a _heart_. But at the same time… She knew he was finding it. The solution.

“He’ll be back,” she promised Sokka, pressing a comforting kiss to his cheek. “We just have to trust him.”

Sokka sighed, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I guess he _is_ the Avatar. If anyone can survive disappearing off the face of the Earth, it’s him.”

“He’s not just the Avatar,” Suki reminded him. “He’s an airbender.” And he was going to save the world.

Kyoshi would have been proud.

\+ 1. katara: _grief, she’s learned, is really just love. grief is all the love he wants to give, but cannot - his grief is just love with no place to go. (she’ll never let him go again.)_

To say that the day had been overwhelming would have been the understatement of the century. The war had been brought to a formal close, Zuko had been crowned Fire Lord, she and Aang had _kissed_ \- okay, so that last one was more overwhelming for Katara on a _personal_ level, but altogether it was still a lot to take in.

Now the eventful day was coming to a close, and everyone had changed into pajamas and disappeared into their respective rooms within the Fire Nation’s palace, as Zuko had insisted that they stay at least one night before separating in all four cardinal directions. Of course, even though everyone had been given their own individual rooms, Katara had not missed the way Zuko and Mai had unabashedly gone off in one together, not to mention she’d seen Suki sneaking into Sokka’s room in the most indiscreet way possible. She couldn’t say for _certain_ what either of the couples were doing, but one way or the other she didn’t really want to know.

Then again, maybe that made her a hypocrite, since she was less than two steps away from Aang’s door. But _her_ visit was not of a romantic nature. She was worried about him.

Ugh. She supposed being in a constant state of worry for Aang was a side effect of dating the Avatar that she’d have to get used to.

Still. As excited and bashful as he’d been when they’d gotten together, she hadn’t missed the heaviness with which he’d seemed to hold himself the entire day. She’d seen that weight many times before, the first instance being the night after he’d found Monk Gyatso’s skeleton in the Southern Air Temple.

It was high time the Avatar made good on his promise to her.

Katara didn’t hesitate to lightly knock on the door, waiting for Aang to call for her to come in before she entered.

Aang was standing outside on the balcony, his elbows resting on the railing as he quietly observed the starry night around him. Katara’s heart ached when she realized he was still dressed in his formal Air Nomad attire - earlier that day, amongst the sea of blue, green, and red at Zuko’s coronation, Aang’s figure had been the only one clothed in orange. The thought made tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and she wiped them away before joining him on the balcony, standing just close enough to her boyfriend that their shoulders touched.

“How are you feeling?” Aang asked her after a brief period of silence, though his gaze remained facing outward.

Katara turned to raise an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t I be asking _you_ that?”

Aang laughed - spirits, it was probably her favorite sound in the world now. “Maybe. But I asked you first.”

Katara hummed in mock-disapproval before turning back to look out over the land of the Fire Nation. Even late at night, the city was brightly lit. Unsurprising. “I feel relieved, mostly,” she mused. “The war is finally over. At least officially. Of course…” She sighed. “I’m nervous, too. So much about the future is uncertain and - and I really, _really_ hate not knowing what to expect. There’s the whole ‘dealing with the colonies’ issue, and eventually Sokka and I have to go back to the South Pole… It’s a lot to think about. But.” She gave him a small smile. “At least we have each other.”

Aang flushed, and she had to bite back a laugh. “That is definitely a plus,” he agreed as he returned her smile, albeit more bashfully than her. Then his expression grew serious. “But yeah. I get what you mean about… not knowing.”

Katara nodded. She expected him to continue, and when he didn’t, she gently nudged his shoulder with her own, stifling a laugh at his surprise. “So… How are _you_ feeling, Aang?”

Aang blinked. “Oh! Right.” He looked back out over the railing, resting his chin on one of his hands. “Everything is going to be different now,” he finally said, his voice so quiet it was nearly swept away by the summer breeze flitting through the air. “The war is over, but there’s still so much that has to be done before we can really say that we’re living in a time of peace. A lot of things are going to change soon, too. Zuko’s Fire Lord now, Toph wants to start a metalbending school, and like you said, you and Sokka have responsibilities in the South Pole…” He trailed off, and at first, Katara wasn’t sure how to fill the silence.

Aang was right, after all. Things were about to change. Significantly so. Although… She didn’t want to say anything, just in case things fell through, but she didn’t plan to go back to the South Pole anytime soon. Not without Aang. Not yet. “What about you?” she ended up asking. “What do you want to do?”

Aang shrugged. “I’m the Avatar. I need to restore balance to the four nations. Even though the war is over, not all of the fighting has stopped. So I guess I’ll be travelling a lot, going wherever they need me to help maintain peace and order.” He wrinkled his nose in mild disgust. “I really don’t think I’m going to like the political side of peace, though. I just want to help people.”

Katara snickered at his expression. “That’s the secret to politics - no one likes them.” Then she gave him a small smile. “But you didn’t answer my question, Aang. I asked what you _wanted_ to do - not what the Avatar _has_ to do.”

Aang returned her smile with an amused one of his own. “Well, since I _am_ the Avatar, I’m pretty sure it’s the same thing.”

Katara shook her head. “Not always. Not to me.” She reached out to place one of her hands on top of his. “Not when it’s you.” The Avatar had responsibilities, sure, but _Aang_ deserved to be allowed to write his own future, too.

Aang’s face grew red, but he turned his hand beneath hers to properly intertwine their fingers. “I mean, I _do_ want to make sure the world becomes balanced again. And I also love the idea of travelling, because the Air Nomads -” He faltered, breaking eye contact with her. There was a beat before he continued. “I want what’s best for the four nations. And as the Avatar, that means putting the world first, before my own personal wants.”

He sounded like he was citing a textbook description of the Avatar’s responsibilities - a sure sign that there was something he was keeping from her. And Katara hadn’t missed what subject it was that he’d just stumbled over. Clearly a change in tactic was needed.

“Many moons ago, you made me a promise, Aang,” Katara mused, resting her other elbow on the balcony’s railing. “You promised me that when the war was over, you would allow yourself time to grieve. You promised me that you would mourn without pushing your own pain away to save someone else from theirs.” She turned her body so she was fully facing him. “You wouldn’t break a promise to me, would you?”

Aang laughed, similarly turning to face her. “No. Not to you.” He gave her a small grin. “To be fair, I had to face my grief head-on with Guru Pathik to open my fourth chakra - the one in my heart.” He blushed, and Katara wondered if there was a part of that story he wasn’t telling. “But yeah. It’s okay. I haven’t been letting my pain stew inside of me since… that night. I’ve learned there are healthier ways to process grief.”

Katara chuckled. “Well, I suppose that’s good to hear.” She squeezed his hand. “So I’m going to ask you one more time - now that the war is over, what do _you_ want to do? No Avatar-related business, no politics - just Aang.”

Her boyfriend gave her hand a gentle squeeze in return. “I’ll answer your question. But first, I _am_ the Avatar, Katara.” Which _didn’t_ answer her question, and she would have accused him of stalling if he hadn’t warned her. “I can’t erase that part of me. But you’re right - I’m also Aang. An airbender. The _last_ airbender. So. What I want to do, now that the war is over…” He took a deep breath. “I want to restore the Air Temples. All of them.”

Katara’s eyes widened. “Wow.” She wasn’t surprised by his goal, but still… She knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince all of the other nations to get on board.

Aang flushed, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. “It’s kind of silly, I know, but -”

“No. No!” she hastily reassured him, horrified that he might think she didn’t support his actions. She took his other hand in her own. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Aang.”

He looked back up at her, hope flickering in his gray eyes. “Really?”

Katara nodded. “Really. And - I’m sure Zuko will agree right away. The Earth Kingdom and the Northern Water Tribe might take some more time to convince, but I’m sure they’ll eventually come around. There’s nothing wrong in you wanting to preserve the Air Nomads’ heritage.”

Aang gave her an amused look. “What, no issues from the Southern Water Tribe?”

Katara shrugged casually before winking at him. “I can pull a few strings.”

There was a long pause after she spoke. Aang seemed almost hesitant to continue. “And… there’s one other thing I want to do.” Something about the weight of his tone, the way his voice seemed to waver slightly - it completely changed the atmosphere around them. The air itself was heavier… as if the pull of gravity had increased by a tenfold.

“Okay,” Katara managed to say. “What is it?”

Aang took a deep breath in what seemed like an attempt to calm himself, his grip on her hands tightening. “After each temple is restored, I want to… to have proper burials for the Air Nomads. Sending their spirits off into the Spirit World the way - the way we traditionally would, because there was no one to hold those ceremonies or perform the burial rites a hundred years ago. It’s -” His voice cracked, and he flinched. “It’s the only thing I can do for them, because I’m responsible for -”

Katara instinctively yanked Aang into a tight hug, his face pressing into her shoulder. “Don’t say it,” she murmured, blinking back tears. “Don’t you _dare_ say it was your fault, Aang. It wasn’t. It never has been.”

She felt Aang wrap his arms around her, squeezing her just as tight in response. A few months ago, he might have turned away to hide his tears. A few months ago, he might have tried to bury his pain as deep as possible in the hopes it would never resurface. A few months ago, he might have forced himself to take on the world alone.

But now, Aang cried freely into her shoulder, body shaking with sobs. “I miss them, Katara,” he whispered, clutching her even tighter. “I miss them so much it hurts.”

“I know,” was all she could say in response, her own voice breaking. “I know.”

It wasn’t fair that he’d gone through so much in such a short time. It wasn’t fair that the responsibility of bringing the world back together had rested on his shoulders, even if he now knew better than to carry the burden alone. _None_ of it was fair. But she was determined to stick by him throughout it all, no matter what.

They stayed that way, for a while. Comforted by the other’s embrace. Two kids, clutching tightly at each other for fear of letting go only to find that the other had disappeared in their arms.

When Aang finally pulled away, he lifted his left arm to wipe away his tears with his sleeve. “Sorry,” he said, managing a half-laugh. “I think my crying got your pajamas all wet.”

Katara gently thumbed away his tears that remained beneath his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. I can waterbend them out later.”

A peaceful silence fell, and Katara knew it was the kind of quiet she’d only ever be able to share with him. She felt… lighter, for some reason. Maybe it was the knowledge that Aang had finally taken the time, even if only a few minutes, just to cry, to grieve, to let himself _miss_ the people he loved so dearly.

The silence was broken suddenly, however, by two simple words.

“Thank you.”

She blinked. “For what?”

Aang shrugged. “Never giving up on me. Reminding me that I’m not alone. Kissing me.” He gave her a small, radiant smile. “Everything, basically.”

Katara could feel her face heating up at the reminder of their romantic moment earlier, notably on a different balcony. And of course Sokka’s obnoxious interruption that had followed, which she hoped to soon forget. “That’s sweet of you,” was what she ended up saying to Aang in response. “But I don’t deserve thanks for that.” She returned his smile with a sincere one of her own. “Besides - I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.” They’d had the adventure of a lifetime together already, and she couldn’t help but wonder what the future would bring. Four beautifully-restored Air Temples, if _she_ had any say in it.

Aang gave her a mischievous look. “Really? All of it?”

Katara had a feeling she was walking directly into something, but… “Mhm.”

“Great.” A split second later, Aang stood on his tiptoes to press a quick kiss to her lips, leaving her a cherry-red, flustered mess as he pulled away. “I’ll remember that.”

She rolled her eyes, but the elation blossoming in her chest made it so she couldn’t even manage a mock-glare. “Mm… I suppose I don’t particularly mind you doing that now.” In fact, she didn’t mind it at all. Katara then took both of his hands in hers again, slowly lowering herself to sit on the floor and gently pulling him down with her. “I want you to make me a promise, Avatar Aang.” This time, instead of remaining motionless like he had so long ago, he intertwined his fingers with hers in response. “When this is all over, when peace has come… Promise me that you’ll never, _ever_ forget who you are. The Avatar. An airbender.” She gently squeezed his hands. “My best friend.”

Aang smiled at her, and spirits if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing Katara had ever seen. “Okay. I promise.”

No, it wasn’t fair that as kids, they’d had to save the world. No, it wasn’t fair that they’d had their childhood stolen from them by the war that they’d been forced to save the world from. No, it wasn’t fair that an entire nation had nearly been destroyed, and it was even less fair that the nation’s sole survivor was a child barely younger than her, too.

But that was all the more reason, in Katara’s opinion, to make sure that no other generation would ever have to go through what they had. Aang could save the world. He could restore balance. Katara _knew_ he could.

And she would stay by his side for every damn second of that journey. For the first time since she’d lost her mother… the future finally looked bright. Oh - and the fact that Aang was now forever in the picture with her?

It only made the whole world seem brighter.

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> i definitely want to write some more aang-centric fics in the future, next time maybe from his pov; currently thinking about a deeper introspection into the air nomads’ culture and aang’s relationship with it (what he remembers, what he’s forgotten, his journey to rebuild it, etc.). also wouldn’t mind writing some kataang fluff as a nice breather between these more serious ideas lol. anyways - hope you enjoyed the fic! :)


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